Mommy and daddy have different parenting rules!

by Laura
(Kalamazoo, MI USA)

Please, I need help! My son's father and I divorced shortly after he was born. He was living with me for the majority of the time until about six months ago (he is 2). I have been very diligent with our routine and having him sleep in his own bed. This was a absolute must have! For the last two years I have shown him what is to be expected at naptime and bedtime.

Usually, we read a book, rock in the rocker and then he gives me a kiss and we say "night night". This was perfect until he started spending more time with his father. His father allows him to sleep in his bed with him at nap and nighttime and gives him juice to fall asleep with!!!

I have spoken to him about this on numerous occasions and he doesn't care. At nap-time and at bedtime his father will stay with him until he falls asleep. At my house this has become a loosing battle. He used to say night night and wave to me and fall asleep. Now, he screams and cries until all hours of the morning.

He wont even take a nap anymore! The other night he got so upset that he threw up all over his bed. Last night, he got up around 1:30 (i got him to sleep, finally,at about 12:30) and we went round and round until I caved at 4:45 am! Then at naptime, It took me an hour to get him down and he was up 30 min. later.

I was so exhausted from the night before that I just let him nap with me and he slept 3 1/2 hours! I am going crazy! I am trying to keep my cool, but I work second shift and am so very tired! What can I do? It's not that I don't ever want him to sleep with me, nightmares and storms are great snuggle occasions, but I need my space too.

How can I keep my little guy in his bed? How do I do it so that he is not getting overwhelmed and stressed and the same for me. It breaks my heart him getting so upset and crying so hard he can hardly breath. Please help! What do I do?